


Not Again

by MajesticSerendipity



Category: Pretty Little Liars, emison
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2720363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticSerendipity/pseuds/MajesticSerendipity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When love is not enough, Emily hurts Alison, caused by trust issues with Ali, she begs her for forgiveness and not to leave, again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Again

"Alison Dilaurentis" Emily shouts as she runs across the yard. “Don’t you dare leave me!” Tears drizzle down the brunettes cheeks as she chokes “Not again”.

Alison becomes motionless as her fleeing body paralyses to the spot “Em” she croaks as Emily’s hand clamps on her shoulder and whips Alison around to face her, Alison’s eyes show complete utter desperation “Please Ali” Emily begs as her voice breaks. Sorrow briefly etches across Alison’s face, as her features quickly glass over “You betrayed me”.

Emily’s heart rips apart as she hears Alison’s voice give away the pain and torment she created. I caused that, she thought. “I’m sorry” she whimpers. “I love you, I wish I could go back in the past and change everything.” She stares into Ali’s eyes. Alison has to believe this. She cant lose her not again, she needs her. She’s always needed her.

"I made a mistake Ali. I was very very drunk. And I didn’t feel I could trust you, I thought you were lying to me again." A sob breaks through her voice "I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I felt like you was avoiding me and you was barely speaking to me Alison"

Emily looked down at herself and mentally scolded herself “So I got drunk yesterday at the party. And I started dancing with her, I thought she just saw me as a friend, and the next thing I knew she had her hands all over” her voice betrays her as ali looks at her as if she wants to shred her to pieces. Alison callously says “I told you I didn’t want to hear any of your pathetic excuses or any of the sordid details.” Distaste ruptures over her face “I f****** love you Emily. I trusted you. You know how hard it is for me to trust. And you…” Alison instantly feels terribly nauseous “you…you…you…slept with her” tears release and drip down her face.

Shame overflows Emily’s body, she cant help but hate for herself for causing her girl tremendous pain and for sleeping with anyone else but Alison. Bitterly the blonde states “I’d told you, id never lie to you again. And I’ve proved that over and over again” she stares at Emily with contempt as the brunette wants to beg for forgiveness.

Anger overwhelms and controls Alison’s actions “Do you want to know why I was being so secretive?.” She doesn’t give Emily enough time for her to answer. She just stuffs her hand into her coat pocket, retrieves the item and shoves it at Emily.

Emily grasps the item and glances down, instantly she cant believe what she’s seeing, she opens the little box and looks inside and gasps. Its exquisite. A white gold ring, mounted a perfectly encrusted delicate diamond shaped as a symmetrical heart. Clearly its extremely expensive.

Emily soul, heart, mind and body immediately lights up at the prospect of what this ring means…she has been waiting for this jubilant moment from the moment her eyes settled on the devastatingly, beautiful Alison’s Dilaurentis, soft blonde hair and ocean deep blue eyes.

Alison infuriates stressing the word was “I was going to ask you to marry me”. Rapidly Emily’s heart clenches. She feels like she cant breathe, all the air feels its been crushed and squashed out of her cavity that was her chest and heart. Her happiness is replaced with devastation and desperation..her life just shattered in front of her eyes, in the palm of her hands, she lost her perfect dream of marrying the stunning one and only Alison Dilaurentis.

Alison watches Emily’s face progress through shock, happiness, realisation and finally despair. Alison confesses “I was gonna ask you tonight, I’ve been planning tonight for months. I’ve been soooo anxious you would say no” she looked into Emily’s dazzling eyes and saw ferocious adoration in them. That look spreads warmth throughout her soul. She just knew that her mermaid would have never said ‘No’

Reality hits her as she looks back at the house. Hauntingly she tells Emily “I’ve been avoiding you because I knew you’d look at me and know. I was scared of spoiling what would have been the most important moment my life.” Alison sniffles as she finishes that sentence. The blonde confesses “I was gonna ask you tonight, I’ve been planning tonight for months, I’ve been soooo anxious you would say no” she looked into Emily’s dazzling eyes and saw ferocious adoration in them.

“Our life” Emily whimpers, just loud enough for Alison to hear. “I would of said yes in heart beat”.

Alison swoons at the confirmation but immediately the best feeling in the world is replaced with an unbearable sharp agonising pain spreading out through her soul. “None of that matters now Emily” she sounds totally dejected “you slept with her” her eyes coldly misting over “out of everyone you choose” her voice breaks “Paige” Alison heart feels like its shattered into a million shards. She feels so fragile. So broken.

Alison tries her best to hold herself together but she cant. She got through A, being buried alive by her mum, tortured emotionally for more years than she would want to count but this, this she’s sure she cant get through. Emily was her home. Her world, mind, soul, god everything gravitates around her. She takes a deep breath trying to pull herself together and thinks ‘I’m Alison Dilaurentis nobody breaks me’ she repeats that mantra trying to make it resonate within her soul and mind. But looking into this girls eyes she know just knows that this girl has always had the ability to break and snap her, in ways that others never could. Emily Fields just has power over her.

Emily tries to blink away the tears clouding her vision. Despair emanates from her voice “It meant nothing Alison, please believe me.”

Ali desperately wishes she could believe her however she just cant wipe clear her memories of Emily writhing under pigskin, her back arching up pressing her very naked body into pigskins, while she came hard on the fingers buried deep within her. Half of her wanted to tear pigskin down to pieces like pigskin had to her heart, but the other half of her had to get away, as far away as she could. The sorrow and hurt was just too much to handle.

Alison trembles as she asks the question that’s been wedged firmly in her brain since she saw that ghastly moment “Do you….Do you…llove her?” She stutters with her eyes furiously weeping now as she waits for the dreadful answer.

Without hesitation Emily practically shouts “NO” realising she nearly published their business to the whole street, she lowers her voice and says compassionately “even when I was in a relationship with her. I never loved her like I did you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. I didn’t love her yesterday, last week, last month, last year, before we got together and I never will never love her again. I love you.” She rambled that out as quick as she possibly could. She meant every word!, her heart has always been owned by Alison Dilaurentis and always will be.

As Emily watches her, she tries to memorise every inch of her beautiful conflicted face, she knows this might be the last moment that she spends with Alison due to her walking away for the second time in their lives. She cannot bare the thought but she will not waist time right now. This is her last moment. She needs to make it count, to repent, explain and beg with every inch of her being for her to stay.

"You were acting shady Alison, like that time after when you returned to rosewood and rose publicly from the dead. I thought you were back to your old tricks Ali. Spencer told me she saw you with a girl, who you was laughing and smiling with while holding hands. Hanna mentioned she saw you get into car that had blacked out windows. And Aria..she said she saw you at the mall with CeCe." She paused taking in a deep breath realising that she got everything wrong "all I knew was that you wasn’t speaking properly to me, every time I was in the same room with you were rather trying to sneak out or you were on the phone totally ignoring me. You have scarcely touched me in a month Alison. God forbid us having sex. Its been what a couple of months since we had" Emily looked around to check no one was listening in down the empty street and whispers "sex."

Emily braced herself to reveal truths that she had kept locked up “I thought you’d fallen out of love with me Ali. I thought you’d moved on. I thought that you might of been cheating” she confesses, Tears shed from hastily from Emily’s eyes she wraps her hand in her sleeve and brushes the tears away from her eyes “I thought we were over. I felt lost and abandoned Ali. But even in the darkest moment, I craved for you to be my Alison again, I was willing and ready to forgive anything if it meant you would of still been mine. But then I got drunk” wisely she ended her sentence there knowing her blonde couldn’t deal with hearing more details.

Ali took in breath and looked down at the floor. She by this point had managed to control her crying a little. ‘Had it really been that long since we made love’ she tried to remember the last time they spent the night together. She realised that must have been on the night of their 2 years together as a couple. 3 months ago at least.

“I’ve been so tired Em, I’ve been working every moment I can to pay for that ring.” She huffed and explained the details “CeCe was helping me pick your ring, the car I got into was my cousins, which happens to be the girl aria saw me with, she came into town to catch up. I haven’t seen her in years.” Alison smiled at the memories of her cousin, it felt like nothing had changed between them despite her false death and all the bad press she had received. Emily’s face clearly shows Alison that she believes her. “And for the record I did love you”

Emily just wants to cuddle Alison and try to hold every piece of there broken hearts together. She wants to promise Alison that she will never break her again. Never touch another body but hers. She wants to show Alison that she needs her.

"I’m sorry" Emily states choking on the words. ‘She just said did, does she love me now? I cant lose her, I just cant’ she feels as if she is on the edge of a precipice waiting for the decision that will change her life in irrevocable way "stay Ali please stay. I’ll never cheat again. Ever. I promise."

Ali looks at her she really wants to believe her, deep down she just knows Emily will never truly trust her and she’s not sure she could ever trust her again.

Alison stares at her doesn’t speak a word, she silently watches the brunette, knowing this is the very last minute her heart gets to drink in the everything that is Emily Fields. After a long pause she finally utters her decision “I cant trust you, Em” Alison watches tears trickle and consume Emily. She can tell Emily knows, her absolute verdict. Her eyes grow cold, her heart ices over, she copes the only way she knows how and gazes callously towards her mermaid.

She watches Emily scramble for words her trying to beg “ppleeassee Ali” she pauses weeping as she speaks “please Alison you…you…mean everything to me” she tries to grapple Alison’s arm, she fails, Alison takes a step back and spits “Don’t you touch me!” Emily swears she just literally watched her heart crack and collapse like an earthquake just shook and rattled her world and home.

Alison said the words that she was dreadfully ready to write in concrete “We are over Emily.” She took one last glance at Emily fields, turns around and took her first step in the new world that she had to endure. It felt dim, but perhaps one day her view on the world would change. One day. She looked over her shoulder and said her last broken words “Sometimes, love is not enough, Em”.

Emily watches Ali slowly walk down their vast street, viewing her slowly vanish from view.

Emily’s mind tells her ‘Ali’s gone’, her flood gates open, tears rapidly stream down her face, she wails with the type of despair that only grief can bring. Suddenly her body feels completely weak, her legs quake. And that’s it. She collapses to the ground. Time slows as every minute is hard to survive. She clutches the ring box hard as she can while shrieking sobs reap through her body.

Hours must of past because before she knew it was dark and Hanna was looking down at her, saying something she looked frantic, she couldn’t understand what was being said to her. It was like her brain had shut off.

All she knew was Hanna must of got off work, because here she was mumbling words at her. Suddenly she was being grappled with being dragged into Hanna's car. Tears still springing heavily down her face.

She stared out the window of the car remembering and torturing herself with every minute detail she saw on Alison’s face during their final heartbreaking moments. At this very second she felt like nothing will ever be okay again, and worst of it was she could only blame herself, every fibre of being hated herself, hated the heartache she thrust upon both of them. Her Alison was gone, she had left her and she was never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> *Disclaimer: I do not own the characters


End file.
